Wednesday, September 5, 2007

Wrap your sleeves around me

I have a problem with sleeves. Either I have very short arms, or most patterns have very long sleeves. In addition to long sleeves, there is also the problem that I think ¾ sleeves were designed in heaven, and I hate tight things around my wrists.

Long sleeves are pushed, rolled or folded up until they are out of my way and about 10cm clear of the wrists. I regularly take this amount off patterns, and still end up with long sleeves! The current fashion for sleeves to your fingertips simply means that I have to roll them up further.

Long sleeves get in my way. They drag in my dinner, fall in the washing up, swipe the kitchen benches and we’re not even going to discuss what happens regarding the potty and toilet training stuff!

I was 35 before I could reliably wear anything white. Even if I drank only water and ate white bread, my white top ended up covered in red wine, coffee, spaghetti Bolognese and beetroot. White trousers or dresses were (and with small children still are) out of the question. I am a grub. I can’t help it. I attract dirt and crumbs and sticky stuff. And long sleeves are just asking for trouble.

What is it with these sleeves? Is it like the mandarins of ancient china with their sleeves and fingernails? Do sleeves like this scream ‘I am not a mother – I do nothing grubby during the day and am single, so I don’t do housework’?

It’s like teetery high stiletto heels. I love them, but I not only live in the country, I have kids. You know you’re middle aged when you look at the divinest shoes and say ‘No – I can’t push the stroller in them, and I just won’t get the wear out of them’. Mind you, didn’t put me off buying the gorgeous bronze sky high stilettos I’ve only worn twice and the last time served only to aerate the lawn!

Thanks for your lovely comments. Yes, yesterday was a crappy day. The biting incident – I thought Destructoboy was leaning in to give me a kiss on the cheek, when he sank his teeth in and refused to let go. I tried to prise his jaws apart with a finger, and when that didn’t work (and I thought his teeth were going to meet in my flesh) I smacked his face (not hard, just 2 fingers, but it gave him a shock). I prefer not to have holes in my cheek, and while I don’t usually condone smacking, I could think of nothing else to make him let go! Hissing imprecation did no good, not did begging, so the slappy tap it was – it worked, and every adult in the performance leaned around and glared at me! I was really surprised my face wasn’t spurting blood!
This is what I have to contend with!

Today I helped the kindergarten kids walk down to the local hall for the Town and Country Spring Fair. It’s not really a fair, but most local schools and organisations have fundraising tables – our school sold chocolate. The kids filled themselves on fairy floss and other sugar, bought second hand soft toys and showbags filled with useless stuff for $2. Princess had 5 whole dollars to spend and ended up with a large bag of assorted crap.

I ended up with this. He followed me home, mum, can I keep him?

She thought it was wonderful. I thought the best things was that all the kids, hopped up on huge amounts of sugar, were going back to school for 3 hours, and not coming home!

1 comment:

Jejune said...

Totally with you about the shorter sleeve thing - I'm forever rolling up cuffs too, and prefer them shorter!

Ugh about the biting incident - OW f'ing OW! And as for other parents glaring - sheesh. Tell Destructoboy to latch onto them for a while, put his powers to good use ;)

Yes, you can keep the ram. Lulu likes the look of him!