What did you do with June?

Thanks for your lovely comments on the Turtle Walk socks everyone. Yes, Miss Spidey – your pattern was beautiful, very easy to follow, especially your good advice about the spread of stitches on the needles. These are my new favourite socks and are made in 2 50g balls of Jojoland Melody in colour Y45 (orange/purple?) from Yarns Online – one of my very favourite enablers. If you want to get hold of the pattern – put in some high level bribery or grovelling to Miss Spidey - it’s lovely and logical to knit and unfolds on the needles very nicely – I wore them all day yesterday and they felt lovely – the pattern nice and elastic too.

So last night I finally cast on Juno – from Rowan 40, in Rowan Aran colour Gables, a russet tweed. I intend to make it longer (to hide some sins that shouldn’t be seen – especially after 2 Caesars) with a small side split for that bit and slightly higher at the neckline. Besides – it’s fairly easy knitting for most of it – 2x2 rib and then the glorious cabled collar (my challenge). I expect to be moderately bored by the rib, but it is a glorious thing.

On another note, this year has rushed past. I can’t believe that it’s September next week – the first day of spring is just around the corner. More seriously, I seem to be missing June. Now, I don’t want to point any fingers, but if any of you have 2 Junes – especially one which is almost untouched, I’d like it returned please. If you’ve ‘borrowed’ an extra June, I won’t ask any questions. No names, no pack drill.

I’ve noticed this ‘disappearing’ of whole months a lot more in the last few years. I look back on the year and realise that one, or even two, months have gone missing. I strongly suspect that people with real and interesting lives have been abstracting my months to augment their own ration. If this is you, then stop. It affects me very badly when I suddenly realise that I’m missing them and I’m staring down the barrel at Christmas with no memory of how I got there.

Speaking of Christmas, (what! We were – I distinctly remember it), I need to get some more knitting organised – Now how did you know I was going to say that! Last year was dishcloths – so I can’t do that again until NEXT year. I need to get a wriggle on with the adjusted Squatty sidekicks and maybe some wrist warmers. I visited Donyale the other day and fell in love with Gaby, but I think the time investment is greater than I’m willing to commit to, just now.

There are so many things I want to knit, that I’m really looking forward to knitting that there really aren’t enough hours in the day. (Or enough money in the piggy bank!). I’m eyeing off Bella from Knitting daily as a late spring knit – in Bendigo cotton – how nice. And there’s still the Kauni Cardi and my Noro. I’d really like to make it into a silk garden jacket/cardi of some kind – waiting for that to take shape in my mind. And then there’s the rest of the stash. To say nothing of all the socks. Oh my.

And in between times, I think I’ll find an answer to world peace, get fit and re-discover my girlish figure (ha!), be a perfect mother, develop my cooking skills, write a novel and work on my PhD.

Excuse me while I escape into fantasy land – or just go and get lunch for the munchkins.

Conscience and Unconsciousness

Children and the deluge - for your delectation.

Okay. I know I shouldn’t have done it. For once I’m not talking about buying yarn – or putting things on the credit card. Or opening another bottle of wine. Or even exceeding my broadband allocation (I HAVE to increase my plan). I shouldn’t have done it.

But I was so sick of the whining and complaining. I was tired of the whinging and sulks. I was also tired of spending the entire day dealing with wee and pooh in one form or another. I was just plain tired.

In my defence, it’s been nearly 4 (yes that’s right, FOUR) years since I have had an unbroken nights sleep. I am very lucky to get four hours of unbroken sleep, and it’s usually not even that.

I can’t remember the last time I slept from bedtime at 11 or 12 till 7am without waking up 3 or 4 times, and usually taking hours to get back to sleep.

I’ve never been a big sleeper. I used to be able to get by on 3-4 hours a night for months and months and then I’d get sick and sleep for 36 hours nearly straight. I’ve never been able to sleep in – even as a teenager. To me, sleeping in is getting up at 8am. I used to be known (when young and single) to get up, get papers and coffee and return to bed with a pile of newspapers and cup of coffee, but that wasn’t SLEEPING.

The number of times I would go out, get home at 6, sleep for an hour and then go to work were legion. The scary part was that I would DO IT AGAIN THE NEXT NIGHT! And sometimes the night after, as well.

But since I’ve had children I really, really need more sleep. It might also have something to do with getting older, but I’m not mentioning that. And I don’t get sleep. First it was pregnancy. Then it was breast feeding – then before I stopped breastfeeding number 1 it was pregnancy again. Then it was pregnancy and breastfeeding – then just pregnancy then breast feeding again for a bit over 2 years then it was a child who used to wake up in the night. And if it wasn’t one, then it was the other. Then it was Accountant snoring. Then it was children and the Accountant and a cough. So I haven’t slept through the night for nearly 4 years.

Some days I just get a little unglued when I’ve had a really bad night. But that’s no excuse.

On a lighter note, I finished the gorgeous Turtle Walk socks and they are absolutely beautiful (even if I do say so myself). Tonight I start Juno, and the next exciting socks will be Polyglot (the Return – with corrections). When the Yarn arrives, it will be Happy Clappy with Georgie and Rosered (who has probably given up on us and started her laceweiught clappy but because it’s laceweight and we’ll be working DK we might catch up though due to children our knitting time is limited). And the travelling socks.

Here, just for Rosered are the shoes from my great day.

So, just because I had no exciting knitting on the needles I was cranky. And I had no sleep (see above) And I was sick of the moaning and whining and whinging and complaining – and then the children chipped in – so I shouted at the Accountant.

Tonight he can damn well cook the dinner.

Unfit Mothers and Approaching Spring

Spring is definitely almost here. Maybe. Certainly just around the corner. If it wasn’t for the frost last night today would have been a pearl of a day.

Social interaction day for mum – we went to play group, which means getting together with other mums and chatting, while our little dears play – or tear each other limb from limb - depending on the age group, the audience and the desirability of the toy involved.

Luckily, being a beautiful day meant lots of outside play, so I could stand around ‘supervising’ them, while actually knitting my travelling sock (blue faux fairisle Patonyle), and occasionally saying ‘No’, Well done’, or ‘STOP THAT!’.

I tuck the ball into the wrap over bit of my Lift and Separate, and knit furiously, got the cuff and some leg done today.

Last night I almost finished the Turtle Walk socks – one more pattern repeat and the toe and we’re outta here! They look just beautiful. New broadband allocation tomorrow so you can see pictures – and just for Rose Red I will include some of the shoes!!

Even ordered my Happy Clappy KAL yarn (A-maizing from Ecoyarns), so I’m feeling ready to go. Mind you, I was seduced by the fact that silk was on sale so I ordered some of that too – I’m a lost cause – really I am.

I felt slightly better when I read the Yarn Harlot’s post today, at least about the WIPs – with just 2 pairs of socks, I am way behind her WIP level. But Juno beckons, so at least I have 1 ball – hand rolled, so it’s a ziplock candidate. I also won some Knitpicks DPNs on ebay – in a 2.5mm – which the LYS doesn’t stock so I’m feeling waaaaayyyyy ahead of the game.

Kids are being kids today – so there’s been an awful lot of following them around cleaning up messes – including THAT sort of mess – so I’ll be very pleased to have a glass or so of something alcoholic tonight. Dinner’s almost certainly sausages, new Kipflers and broccoli – cooked while I read the gourmet delights I COULD be cooking from the new Delicious.

Tomorrow I’ll make something more exciting and worthy of respect.

I’ve decided that I am an unfit mother. I’m so unfit I pant when I run up a bill. So I’ve decided to work on becoming fitter. This means walking – not being nicer to the children! It’s always been well known I’m a completely unfit mother that way – Fiona O’Loughlin is my role model for motherhood – except for the ciggies – gave them up long ago and have no intention of starting again – just the wine, humour, and lack of respect for modern parenting methods – that’s what I like about her!

Drunken unfit mothers of the world unite!!! You have nothing to lose but your dignity!

Angling for a holiday (or some time off)

Well, there’s nothing like starting off your day with a pap smear and blood test! Or being woken by the whining of … sorry, laughter of little children.

Destructoboy’s 3rd birthday today – but I had to race off to a doctor’s appointment for the aforementioned checks (my strategy for not spending time in waiting rooms revolves around trying to get the first appointment of the day, before they get a chance to run too far behind – I have been known to give doctors a bill for my time – charged at my consultancy rates!).

He has been asking for a torch for ages (so did Princess for her 3rd birthday) so he got a Torch truck and various other goodies. This afternoon some friends are bringing their littlies around for a visit and afternoon tea. This will involve fairy bread (it’s not really a birthday without fairy bread), chips (crisps), apple tea cake and muffins. You can see I’m going all out on this one!

Truth to tell, I’m just exhausted. I’ve still got the lurking lurgy, I’ve got a convalescent husband (I keep snapping ‘it’s not as bad as a c-section, stop being such a girl’), I’m still chasing my daughter with eye drops and at least Destructoboy can be fairly said to be toilet trained now. Quite frankly, I’d be happy to go to bed, lock the door and let them fight over a packet of mixed lollies for dinner!

Why is it that mothers are always so tired? How come we never seem to get any time off? Heavens above, you only get 10 years for murder – and you’re likely to have time off for good behaviour!

I don’t even get to go to the toilet without small voices outside demanding to be let in – afraid that I’ll sneak out the bathroom window and run away if they don’t keep their eyes on me. (And don't think I haven't been tempted!)

On a lighter note, I re-knitted the heels on the 3 socks my Crocs ate. This took up valuable knitting time, but it’s like finishing 3 pairs of socks all at once!!! I also cast on for the second Turtle Walk sock. I had a parcel from England yesterday with Rowanspun mist grey DK, and I’m waiting for the arrival of some Yorkshire Aran. Apart from the purchase of some yarn for the Happy Clappy KAL, I’m not going to buy any wool for a while.

Well probably not. Unless it’s a bargain. Or too beautiful to resist. Or sock yarn. Or something involving silk. Or cashmere.

Oh, poop! Who am I trying to kid? We all know that if I have money, or room on my credit card, that I will buy more yarn if it offers itself to me. Even if I have to chase it down and crash tackle it!

In sickness and in occasional health

My goodness. I had anticipated a relaxed and quiet day, drifting gently into writing a posting for my blog, perhaps undertaking one or two not too strenuous jobs on my 3 hours off, but alas, it was not to be!

Firstly – the men came to collect the fridge (5 hours EARLY – is this a record?) only to discover that it had spontane3ously recovered, and should no longer need major surgery. I am not entirely convinced of its wellness, so I have stuffed a thermometer in a glass of water and placed it in the middle shelf – just in case. I will see how cold it gets over the course of the day.

Then, during my perusal of knitty.com, I discovered some lovely, lovely jumpers and a very nice pair of socks I hadn’t noticed before. I was actually there for the Clapotis pattern, which I keep looking at and hadn’t yet down loaded – but inspired by the talented Rose Red, I decided to do something about.

Georgie tagged me for the recipe exchange, so I sent off my recipe (quick name drop) to Barbara Coddington - if not a Yarn goddess, then certainly a Yarn demi-goddess. Quick further skite here (now that’s a word you don’t hear too much these days) I sent her the recipe which got me into the ABCs ‘Home Cooked’ cookbook last year.

Then I had to race off and collect Destructoboy from child care and shortly after returning from that, I received the dreaded CALL FROM SCHOOL. This invariably means that disaster has struck, in some form. Either (like last time) you child has had a fall and requires an immediate trip to emergency because they have suspected concussion, or they’ve thrown up everywhere, or (this hasn’t yet happened but I dread the possibility) they’ve found nits in your child’s hair and they must be immediately removed from school. Princess only attends 2 days per week and I’ve already had 2 calls. This is number 3.

Today it’s suspected conjunctivitis. Great! I have a GP apppintment shortly, have arranged to drop off Destructoboy at the Accountant’s office and take her to the no doubt extended wait at the GPs rooms. Can’t really take knitting as I’ll no doubt need to read to daughter – or at least be publicly seen to display parenting skills – dammit!

Speaking of knitting, I finally finished the first Turtle Walk sock and it looks just lovely. The whole has done Spidey’s design justice and I would have cast on for sock 2 immediately, except for the fact that I had to start a rather belated birthday present – the Wrist Warmers in Silk Road ‘Eden’. I’ve done to the end of the thumb opening and will finish that one tonight and hopefully get most of the second one done tonight.

The recipient is a non-knitter who nonetheless appreciates knitting – she is a mad gardener – so wrist warmers are likely to come in handy!

Gotta go – photos tomorrow – providing the Accountant hasn’t noticed that I’m over my broadband allocation again (with 8 days of the month to go!)

Floods, moats, socks and ponies

Woke up this morning to discover we have a moat!

As this house is big and old Victorian Italianate, it actually has a tower – so we look just a bit castle-y, and now we have a moat!

In the 7 ½ years we’ve lived here, this has happened 4 times. Next to our garden is a low (and usually dry) area marked in old maps as ‘Slacks Creek’. Usually it is the opposite of a Creek, but when we get lots and lots of rain and the Mersey River floods – the water takes a shortcut from river to estuary via Slack’s Creek and we have a moat.

More prosaic people may suggest it is an arm of the river, but we know what it is!

While the wind blustered and the rain came down – often horizontally - over the last 2 days, I figured this would happen at some point. Further along the north west coast people have been evacuated from their homes, and down past the Southern Capital there’s been flooding – we just get a moat.

On the knitting side of life, I should finish the first Turtle walk tonight. Last night I finished the heel and gusset– will post pictures Monday – tomorrow the entire clan of in-laws (minus my favourite sister in law) will descend upon us to celebrate the birthdays of Princess and Destructoboy. This means I need to engage in thankless drudgery involving dusting, vacuums and Shower Power. Bleuggh!

I also need to make soup and quiches, French bread and desserts, apple teacake and various other bits and bobs. I would much rather be knitting, even though I love cooking. I pulled out the yarn for Juno and I’ve investigated getting a different wool winder. Still trying to find a nice swift (one that doesn’t make sarcastic remarks would be good).


Thinking about animals again, I mentioned the horses. My second pony was Gilligan, a very Irish pony with an odd sense of humour. He loved nothing better than messing with your mind – he would pull a saddle cloth off a fence for hours – and once tiptoed (or should that be tip-hoofed?) up on my mother and removed a heedful of curlers before she even noticed! She suddenly realised that the ground around her feet was littered with them and she hadn’t felt a thing! Gilligan gave her a horsey smile (you know, the one with the upper lip pointing skyward) and ran away.

He had a strong bond with our extraordinarily dim blue Persian. I would be riding him full tilt up the hill and Kimi would streak out and throw himself down on his back right under Gilligan’s front hooves. Gilligan would screech to a halt and blow gently up and down the cat’s tummy.

I would sail over his head and land hard on my bum! This happened a number of times and was almost impossible to anticipate – I almost always ended up on the ground.

Gilligan rather liked that – he had a tendency to jump brilliantly until it really mattered. We were well known in local pony club circles for leaping enormous practice jumps and then being disqualified for refusing the first jump in the actual competition 3 times. I think we made it to the second jump once!

My other pony, Anna, was so good that it was sickening – but she couldn’t jump – she was great at gymkhana games like the bouncing pony and barrel races, but that was it. Anna was such a goody goody that if you dropped her reins in the middle of a paddock, she would still be there 3 hours later, looking virtuous. She was a sweetie, but nowhere near as interesting as Gilligan!

Someone found my blog by searching for Labrador Retrievers! – Strangely, no-one has found it yet by searching for paraplegic budgies – but I’m sure they will in time!

Labradors and Toilet Humour

Reports from the toilet-training battlefront.

My, this is so fun, I don’t think I can express it! – We’re on underpants and trousers number three and socks number 2 for the day so far (just after lunch). For the past week or so, there have been pull-ups (a useful but hideously expensive and environmentally unsound option – even when using the attractive Disney princess ones left over from this process with the Princess). Destructoboy looked particularly good in the Snow White ones, but now we’re onto real pants! This simply means more environmental damage through washing!

Let no-one tell you that toilet training is not a battle ground – I had to interrupt that sentence because the boy who was sitting on the toilet less than 2 minutes ago and was asked 10 seconds ago if he needed the toilet has had a poo in his pants. It is a war – it’s very easy to give in and go back to nappies – but I will prevail! Make that: underpants 4, trousers 3 and socks 2 for the day.

Destructoboy will be 3 next Friday. That means that I have been changing nappies with no let up for 5 years and I have had enough – I’m not going to take it any more!

Combined with a ludicrously runny nose, my major preoccupation has been dealing with debris from both ends of Destructoboy today – I follow him around with a potty in one hand and tissue in the other wiping and swiping through the day.

On a happier note, I finished the third pattern repeat for the Turtle Walk socks and nearly finished the heel flap last night. I was initially unimpressed by the sock yarn, feeling that such a lovely sock pattern deserved a much better class of yarn, but now I am really happy with it. I hadn’t realised (knitting from the centre of the ball as I am, and only seeing the outside) that it has an orange-umber core and a rainbow dyed wrap – as you knit you get quite wide but gradually changing rainbow stripes over the orange – it’s subtle and very beautiful, so I have totally revised my opinion. I am now happier that I have excellent taste in yarn to go with Spidey’s lovely pattern.

This morning we did the craft thing (the weather is a bit on the poor side – 150km/hour winds, horizontal rain, you know the sort of thing) so we did stuff – gluing sequins and buttons on other things, bits of paper, felt finger puppets – I felt momentarily like parent of the year! – It’s OK though, it wore off fairly quickly when I cleaned up the glue and small bits of paper!

I don’t believe I mentioned Luath to you. Luath was our main dog while I was a child. He was a Mundin strain black lab, very big, with the appropriate boof head and deep chest. He was a ‘watter dog’ as they are described in old books. Nothing pleased him more that swimming – except, maybe, eating. Or sleeping. Or being patted. Or riding in the back of the ute. Or the car.

He loved the water. We lived near a river. Countless afternoons were spent throwing sticks into the river for him top fetch – a game he never tired of. He also loved people swimming with him, and as my mother couldn’t swim, I was always allowed to swim in the river, if I took the dog. We trained him to come if you yelled ‘Help’ and he would tow you to the bank while you held to his collar or the scruff of his neck.

If you were just floating in the water, he would grab your arm in his soft retriever mouth and tow you anyway. This system worked really well the whole time I was growing up.

Until we took him to the beach. Where the man was snorkelling. Not only was the man patently drowning, but he had a stick in his mouth. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a happier Labrador! He towed the man in – by the stick. Luckily, the man wasn’t drowned and had a sense of humour. And didn’t sue.

Luath used to collect all sorts of things for us. When a nest of baby ducks escaped he brought them back, one by one, in his mouth. They were rather damp, but totally unscathed. As were the guineau pig, kittens and chicks. Definitely slobbered on, but no problems. I love labs. Ours died last year and I still miss him. Cats and children adored him. When I was cleaning out the freezer yesterday (our fridge has died) I still found black Labrador hairs in the bottom.

By the way, on the whole Google search thing, I am proud to announce that if you search for ‘Paraplegic budgie’ my blog is the first hit you get.

I wonder why that is?

Turtle Walks and Heavy Horses

Just as I feared! You’ve all been off doing exciting stuff – and I haven’t been there to see it all – just a day and a half I’m off the airwaves, and there you all are – knitting, cooking, playing with animals, sheep planning mass breakouts! What am I going to do with you?

So, since I’ve been absent I’ve:

1. Finished Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. Liked it (of course) but thought it could benefit from stronger editing.

SPOILER ALERT

Also, can someone please tell me a) how did the sword get back to the hat? And b) How did Draco end up as the wand’s master when Snape killed Dumbledore?

2. I cast on Polyglot socks and discovered after knitting the first full repeat that there was a mistake in the pattern and I ended up doubling the number of stitches in 10 rows!!! Frogged it (2 nights work, not including the 2 nights spent untangling the skein to ball it, making a complete dog’s breakfast of my new ball winder, untangling it all again, taking the mess off the ball winder, rewinding and re-balling it by hand and putting it in a ziplock, as I would have done originally had I not had the new ball winder – decided to watch the instructional video on YouTube) and emailed the designer in a panic, only to discover there WAS a problem with the pattern but I wasn’t sent the corrected chart – she was very quick to get it to me though.

3. the feather and fan scarf at playgroup yesterday

4. Cast on a plain pair of socks in Patonyle faux fairisle for travelling and meetings

5. Cast on and did 2 pattern repeats of Happy Spider’s Turtle Walk socks in JoJoland Melody (I would have searched out some of Spidey’s own gorgeous wool, but I was so upset about the Polyglot socks I grabbed some reasonable wool from the downstairs stash)


6. Felted and semi dried the Squatty sidekick. Tips: Increases and decreases in the side stitches I think for the next couple. Slightly longer strap and less bound off stitches between the flap edges and straps. Waiting for it to dry.

It’s been wild weather here and there’s been little prospect of playing outside from about lunchtime yesterday. I’ve decided I feel a bit naked without a big knitting project, so I’m going to try the ball winder again with the Rowan for Juno.

This will bring me up to 3 WIPs – which is my limit. On the other hand. Maybe I should just finish the Turtle Walk socks and then do Juno. Decisions, Decisions.

I notice that some of you are enjoying the animal yarns (he, he). As we lived on a farm, we always had lots of animals drifting in and out of our orbit. Even the mice which lived in our house (no, not pets – the sort that come out at night and poo in the cupboards!) had names – my mother actually used to put food out for them. One (particularly fat and buck toothed) was called Mousey Tung. The extremely fat and slow moving one was called Enormouse. How they managed to stick around in a house full of cats (we always had at least 3) is beyond me!

Mostly, the sheep weren’t distinguished enough, with strong enough personalities to get their own names. Bottle fed lambs circulated through the house, drank formula out of Seppelt’s Solero sherry bottles with teats on (much to the disgust of our Brethren neighbours who were convinced we were enticing them into a life of alcohol and vice), grew strong and were either matched with a ewe who had lost lambs or were weaned and went back to the flock.

The real stars of the farm were the collection of horses. My mother was a bit scared of horses (this is a women whose hobby, prior to moving to Australia from Wales and settling down with Dad, was mountain climbing. She also went around Europe on the back of a BSA motorbike with a former boyfriend). But she was a softie (our farming practices were the source of enormous amounts of laughter from the REAL farmers around us). So she bought an elderly Clydsesdale mare, Jewel, to save her from the knackers. This cost her 45 dollars (or 2 weeks housekeeping). For 2 weeks we ate lots of porridge and potatoes. Jewel was in her early twenties (we think), was calm and placid, and suffered from chronic greasy heel, which required baths in copper sulphate and bran poultices. She generally got the sack containing the poultice off her leg and ate it (the poultice, not the sack). A bran poultice has the same ingredients as bran mash.

She hated the copper sulphate wash, so generally, someone had to distract her with food at the front end, while someone else crept around the back end with a bucket of the wash and got as close as possible before hurling the contents at her heels. She generally trotted off, but became extremely wary of buckets. If there was food in a bucket, we had to put it down and back away, allowing her to investigate its contents!

Jewel eventually died of extreme old age, having had a loving and lengthy retirement. We used to sit on her very broad back and play cards, while she ambled along eating grass (pulling herself along by her teeth). She never minded. The only time I ever saw her moving quickly was when she saw a bucket!